yseult
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When you can see how understanding forms in between the lines of (un)spoken dialogue
This drama is a beautiful gem. Something that I enjoyed every minute of. Even the painful parts.
The acting is on another level for this one. The actors show us what human interaction and understanding brings and where it falls short. The messiness and the noise, the hardship when things do not reveal themselves as expected... it's all here.
There has been a lot of talk about FL being toxic and their relationship being unhealthy (some of it might be based on the Japanese original). And a lot was said on ML being too old and the age-gap being an issue.
And yet, it is not. There is no manipulative drama-usual plot here, but only human life at its purest and messiest, unclearest. There is not difficulty other than the silence in between us all. In the things said that leaves room for everything and the things we do not say and that ultimately still get a say.
I can say this: the only unhealthy thing in their relationship is him not really fighting for her. We never see him standing up with true effort (as his did with his former GF... mind you, he DOES stand up TO her FOR Meon, but not FOR her.). He said it at the beginning: for him it was new that for once he was not the one to make all the effort for a hearing person, but her actually doing all the work. And at some point he grew attached to it being this way, while disregarding (or not telling her) about what was happening with his former GF. Even though there is a lot of off-screen relationship handling happening ("we talked a lot..." in Ep 15.) He learnt through her that he was deserving of that effort. But the thing is: in a relationship that's normal. Sometimes you are pulling more and being supported more, and then it levels out until the other needs more.
Here the levelling out never happened... because let's face it: he unpacked lifelong trauma and hurt which informed ALL his reality.
And lastly: sometimes the greatest hurt we create for ourselves is when we think we are something for someone else that we are not. Sometimes we do not immediately know why we come into the life of someone else. And so we project our needs and wishes. She thought she needed to be his lover to show him the hearing world. He thought he needed to be her lover to protect her. And yet: She came into his life to teach him about self-love and respect, to lessen the harshness of the hearing culture in which he can barely exist, to bring peace to his child-heart of a mother who rejected him by bringing him to his old home and his mother (Ep 16). She was there for all of that, and it didn't matter that she didn't knew how or why.
He brought her confidence in moments of deep doubt. She built herself up again through being loved.
This series has so many layer and the writers had courage to show us how understanding forms without words and beyond the explicit forms of understanding we are attached to, how it erodes in the silence that allowed for expansion a few moments before and how eventually the same silence will grow so heavy and break love apart.
And let's not start on second lead Johan: who loves in silence over years and years and it is just enough. Even in the hard moments or when he is tempted to say it out loud, he keeps it in his heart like a precious treasure because he fears losing what he has. His silence is deafening and anybody can see it. And yet... it is his companion.
It's a beautiful, beautiful drama. And I cannot get over it. I cannot get over the layers and the depth and I will forever be grateful that there are still creators out there that make dramas with so much depth possible.
The acting is on another level for this one. The actors show us what human interaction and understanding brings and where it falls short. The messiness and the noise, the hardship when things do not reveal themselves as expected... it's all here.
There has been a lot of talk about FL being toxic and their relationship being unhealthy (some of it might be based on the Japanese original). And a lot was said on ML being too old and the age-gap being an issue.
And yet, it is not. There is no manipulative drama-usual plot here, but only human life at its purest and messiest, unclearest. There is not difficulty other than the silence in between us all. In the things said that leaves room for everything and the things we do not say and that ultimately still get a say.
I can say this: the only unhealthy thing in their relationship is him not really fighting for her. We never see him standing up with true effort (as his did with his former GF... mind you, he DOES stand up TO her FOR Meon, but not FOR her.). He said it at the beginning: for him it was new that for once he was not the one to make all the effort for a hearing person, but her actually doing all the work. And at some point he grew attached to it being this way, while disregarding (or not telling her) about what was happening with his former GF. Even though there is a lot of off-screen relationship handling happening ("we talked a lot..." in Ep 15.) He learnt through her that he was deserving of that effort. But the thing is: in a relationship that's normal. Sometimes you are pulling more and being supported more, and then it levels out until the other needs more.
Here the levelling out never happened... because let's face it: he unpacked lifelong trauma and hurt which informed ALL his reality.
And lastly: sometimes the greatest hurt we create for ourselves is when we think we are something for someone else that we are not. Sometimes we do not immediately know why we come into the life of someone else. And so we project our needs and wishes. She thought she needed to be his lover to show him the hearing world. He thought he needed to be her lover to protect her. And yet: She came into his life to teach him about self-love and respect, to lessen the harshness of the hearing culture in which he can barely exist, to bring peace to his child-heart of a mother who rejected him by bringing him to his old home and his mother (Ep 16). She was there for all of that, and it didn't matter that she didn't knew how or why.
He brought her confidence in moments of deep doubt. She built herself up again through being loved.
This series has so many layer and the writers had courage to show us how understanding forms without words and beyond the explicit forms of understanding we are attached to, how it erodes in the silence that allowed for expansion a few moments before and how eventually the same silence will grow so heavy and break love apart.
And let's not start on second lead Johan: who loves in silence over years and years and it is just enough. Even in the hard moments or when he is tempted to say it out loud, he keeps it in his heart like a precious treasure because he fears losing what he has. His silence is deafening and anybody can see it. And yet... it is his companion.
It's a beautiful, beautiful drama. And I cannot get over it. I cannot get over the layers and the depth and I will forever be grateful that there are still creators out there that make dramas with so much depth possible.
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