Honestly, I don't know how to feel about this title overall.

I absolutely loved the acting, the beautiful relationship cultivated by Yu Xi Gu and Xiang Hao Ting. You could feel the chemistry between them, especially in the steamier scenes. I've seen some people didn't like how many "sex scenes" there were, but I thought that all of them were perfectly done (with the right amount of skinship and lust) and all served a plot purpose/to push the story forward.

The kisses between the two ML are so passionate and, I know I keep using this word, beautiful. They reminded me of what it is like to be so in love with someone at the beginning of your relationship, when everything is new and you are just exploring each other. It reminded me of being 17 and the energy and passion of being young (which I am saying now as a 22 year old woman who is soon to marry her high-school sweetheart of 5 years). The pure lust that XHT repeatedly showed for YXG also just reminded me of my boyfriend, now fiancee, back when we were teenagers. This is all to say that for anyone who has ever been so deeply in love with another person, regardless of gender or sexuality, it is so extremely easy to feel nostalgic about the excitement of being with that person.

******Warning: Major Spoilers Ahead**********
I think the aformentioned reasons are why this ending hit me so hard. I like to read reviews before watching a show, and although I typically don't like to spoil things for myself, I was worried when the reviews said that the ending was awful and so to protect my sanity I read on. So I went into the second half of the series knowing that YXG was going to pass away--- and I do think that for me, that made it easier to deal with. But on the other hand, I am, too, so angry at the writer for not giving XHT and YXG a happy ending. I understand that "life" isn't always perfect, but YXG deserved much much better than being killed off at 18 before he had a chance to really live the life he deserved.

This ending made me reflect on my own life, and I cried extremely hard for YXG but also for XHT who was left behind. I'd like to think that my own love story is of the same caliber as YXG x XHT (in the sense of I also have a beautiful relationship with someone who is my whole world, who makes me so giddy and happy and who is so good to me). That being said, I cannot imagine losing my person, and so this turn of events greatly hurt my heart.

I'm hoping that one day I can think about this series and not want to bawl my eyes out. I also hope that one day we get an alternate ending for our MLs because there is absolutely a universe out there somewhere in which YXG and XHT love each other and stay together until they both pass of old age.

Overall, 9/10 for a 10/10 series with a -1/10 ending. For now, I am conflicted and I don't know if I love or hate this series. I do know that it was beautifully done and that I will always remember and carry this story with me. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go cry in the shower some more and contemplate the meaning of life and what it means to love someone.