This apply mostly for the first half of Love in Flames of War:
- the male chases the female first & both are flirty
- in both their marriage is somewhat forced ( not so much in Story of Ming Lan )
- when they get married the male lead already likes the female lead, however the female lead will start to like & love him after the they get married
- in both the male leads are clever, scheming and have military power; however in Story of Ming Lan the male lead is more clever and charismatic
- both female leads are calm, quick witted and feminists ; though Ming Lan is by far smarter and more rational
- both have the scheming and unreasonable " third party " aka second male and female lead; however in Story of Ming Lan, the love triangle plots are very different in terms of dynamic, when they happen and how the main characters feels about them
- well-matched and beautiful OSTs

Extra things that are not similar but it makes Story of Ming Lan an outstanding drama:
- the story is longer therefore the female lead and male lead have a big character development ( which totally makes sense in justifying why certain characters & incidents are the way they are ) ; the plot is more complex and the quality is better
- far less misunderstandings between the leads and much more trust
- the story revolves a lot around the families of both female & male lead but is made very entertaining
- by the time the leads get married both have been through a lot of hardship and have matured
- every character is well played by the actors ( even support roles ) hence I've never found myself skipping forward
- when it was filmed the main actors were dating and later got married therefore all the romance scenes and the way they look at each other is something else and totally worth the wait
- no dubbing, using on set voices

To conclude, The Story of Ming Lan gives similar vibes, however the plot and characters are superior and more captivating. Hence I highly recommend watching it.