memories

probably 99.99% of my thoughts are kept to myself (like most people), with maybe .01% of those thoughts just barely making it past the barrier of shareability. and usually these ones that make it through, make it through by virtue of at least some consideration for the recipient, beyond mindless self-indulgence. but every once in awhile the pointless need to overshare overwhelms my better judgement, which is why I feel unable to resist the impulse to share with you that in january of 2021 my girlfriend at the time and I agreed to binge-watch a certain 25-episode cantonese medical drama together, which was significant because until that point we had only ever watched mandarin, japanese, english, spanish, and korean media together, if at all.
being the reluctantly benevolent partner that I was, I finally, intentionally, sought out something recent and cantonese we could enjoy that wouldn't irritate either of us (prior to that we had watched multiple cantonese sex-comedy movies, which there are an insane amount of, and which are hilarious, fyi), at my behest. but this time I wanted us to enjoy something equally, together. and we did, finishing the whole series within a week.
it was an experience that made me appreciate the interlingual nature of our relationship. I can't help feeling somewhat self-conscious when I say that experiencing the culturally-specific tropes and the narrative idiosyncrasies of that show gave rise to some of the most charged conversations in our 2 years of living together.
but the reason I'm saying any of this at all is because I feel it necessary to confess that the only reason I was able to sustain myself through this 25-episode drama was a certain actress whose styling, character, and beauty had me anticipating her cumulative 10 minute screen-time through every hour-long episode.
of course my girlfriend never knew this.
despite it, we were both engaged enough that every episode could be finished, every post-conversation had, and every next episode welcomed. still.
apparently there’s this thing in a lot of cantonese dramas (and dramas from other countries, I’m learning), where a certain song by a high-profile celebrity is inserted at an emotional turning-point every episode. and it would make me laugh, every episode, through its sheer inevitability. but now, looking back on that time we were together, having rediscovered that song, I find myself laughing with a very new and strange version of nostalgia. she would always get mad at me for laughing at those very poignant moments. and I think that’s what I’m remembering now.
kennis.

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