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burhaa aadmi
Hic Sunt Dracones
A Brony's dilemma - When "cute" is just CREEPY
I'm a proud Brony. I love sweet, fluffy, chocolate box romcoms. I am also a late middle-aged male with basically zero tolerance for misogyny, chauvinism and patronising patriarchal propaganda. Finding dramas that deliver the sweet fluff, without the Neanderthal nastiness is not easy. It's not impossible, as my "Evolved Male Lead" list ( https://mydramalist.com/list/LAlZ2Z21 ) shows, but it is not easy. Sadly, this drama is not one of the success stories.
I am really not a fan of the kindergarten Kismet trope, and this drama shows that troublesome trope at its worst. To celebrate a man controlling a woman and considering that he has the right to do so simply because she was his childhood crush 20 years ago is creepy not cute.
The scene which ended my ability to tolerate the OTP actually links nicely with the reason I started this drama, and illustrates the difference between the right and the wrong way to do cute. I started this drama because I really enjoyed Xing Fei in "Put Your Head on My Shoulder". That phrase is an invitation, offering closeness, comfort, affection - IF the invitee so chooses. The drama of that title did manage to deliver cute romance without creepy controlling overtones. To simply PUT a sleeping person's head on your shoulder without their knowledge or consent when they only met you two days ago and don't know you at all, as happened in this drama, is not romantic or cute. It's creepy, controlling and stalkerish.
After realising that I was simply not comfortable with the regressive setup of the OTP, I penned my hopes on the initially more promising secondary pair. Sadly, that to very quickly degenerated because of a theme which is all too common in PRC romcoms - namely, that women quite simply and literally NEED men. They are depicted as incomplete without the protective support of a man. No matter how skilled they may be in whatever field they operate in, all of their efforts are at best incomplete, and at worst utterly futile without the approval and endorsement of, and often also needing the rescue by, a male. And of course, they need to openly and cravenly acknowledge this innate inferiority.
Having just watched the truly excellent Korean drama "Run On", which featured grown-ups falling in love while behaving like grown-ups, and which celebrated all parties involved retaining their individuality, intelligence and independence, I was reminded that life is too short for bad dramas. If Life is like a box of chocolates, then my quest for chocolate box romances without poison candy goes on.
I am really not a fan of the kindergarten Kismet trope, and this drama shows that troublesome trope at its worst. To celebrate a man controlling a woman and considering that he has the right to do so simply because she was his childhood crush 20 years ago is creepy not cute.
The scene which ended my ability to tolerate the OTP actually links nicely with the reason I started this drama, and illustrates the difference between the right and the wrong way to do cute. I started this drama because I really enjoyed Xing Fei in "Put Your Head on My Shoulder". That phrase is an invitation, offering closeness, comfort, affection - IF the invitee so chooses. The drama of that title did manage to deliver cute romance without creepy controlling overtones. To simply PUT a sleeping person's head on your shoulder without their knowledge or consent when they only met you two days ago and don't know you at all, as happened in this drama, is not romantic or cute. It's creepy, controlling and stalkerish.
After realising that I was simply not comfortable with the regressive setup of the OTP, I penned my hopes on the initially more promising secondary pair. Sadly, that to very quickly degenerated because of a theme which is all too common in PRC romcoms - namely, that women quite simply and literally NEED men. They are depicted as incomplete without the protective support of a man. No matter how skilled they may be in whatever field they operate in, all of their efforts are at best incomplete, and at worst utterly futile without the approval and endorsement of, and often also needing the rescue by, a male. And of course, they need to openly and cravenly acknowledge this innate inferiority.
Having just watched the truly excellent Korean drama "Run On", which featured grown-ups falling in love while behaving like grown-ups, and which celebrated all parties involved retaining their individuality, intelligence and independence, I was reminded that life is too short for bad dramas. If Life is like a box of chocolates, then my quest for chocolate box romances without poison candy goes on.
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