Posting this review now after letting it sit in my drafts for so long, but... this series... was something. I told myself that I would binge it once it all came out, and yet, here I was, 5 weeks in and starting it. It's been so long that I don't even remember when the last time was that I watched a show that left me feeling either anxious, frustrated or angry at the end of every episode. I was genuinely holding my breath sometimes and biting my nails when some eps ended, and I realised that I had to wait a week. I'm giving it 9 stars for now, but maybe it will change later on to 8.5 when I dwell on this a bit more.

The premise of this show was so interesting and unique. It might have been confusing to some, but once you understand its smooth (or lack thereof) from there.

From the get go I knew Joe was going to be my cinnamon roll and the love of my life. Anyone who even remotely hurt him was in my blacklist, and they still haven't made it out. (Looking at you, Ming. *glares.*) This boy is the epitome of optimism, he's just trying to get through life and make a living. He sees the good in people, believes everyone at their core is to sweet. He deserves the world, but the world don't deserve him. And watching the universe constantly fuck with him (sometimes because of his own stupid decisions, cuz boy, wtf, sit down and think for a hot sec) was truly devastating.

"I started to realize, what love really was. It's like someone makes you feel like you're home." Him saying that was so sweet, yet heart-breaking cuz you know what's about to happen. And when it did... it still leaves me aghast.

Cuz boy, oh boy, Ming, the man that you are. The amount of anger I felt every time this man was on my screen was almost visceral. I wanted to punch the living day lights out of this motherfucker and then some. The arrogance, the narcissism, the gaslighting and manipulation... and on top of that, the fucking audacity of this bitch to come and still say Joe belongs to him! "Don't be too full of yourself, you're just a stand-in." When I tell you I wanted to reach over the screen and kill him myself. If I see him on the streets, its on sight.

Just watching this man constantly ruining Joe's life, and then other motherfuckers joining in and giving him hell frustrated and broke my heart at the same time. My baby did not deserve any of the shit he was going through, he just wanted to support his mum and life the new life he was given. And I'm not even going to start with how icky Sol made me feel. Like Ming is a blinking red flag, but he didn't make me feel icky, just made me want to murder him. Sol on the other hand... buddy ol' pal, pack it up. Your train let the station long time ago. Move. On.

But ep 9 was when my heart truly shattered. "Why are you crying now?! Why?! Why are you crying now?!" Up and Poom did so well in this scene I was entranced. I replayed it so many times just so it can break me again. The pain, resentment and tiredness all piled up and eventually exploded for poor Joe, and it was honestly so well delivered.

However, despite all the good things and the emotions this series made me feel, there were still some things that were meh about it. Hence why I didn't rate it higher, and don't know if it needs to bumped down to a 8.5 instead.

Firstly, what was Tong doing? I thought we set him up to be the big bad of the series, and yet he wasn't even present for most of it??? I was so fucking confused, and even forgot he exists for a bit. Every time this man came on screen I couldn't even look, it was that type of anger. They made him to be so hateful, but it went no where??? And May forgiving him so quickly?! Girlie that's not how you stand on business. Kick him to the curb, feed him to the dogs!!

Secondly, Ming's redemption arc was so lacklustre. There was practically nothing there for us to hold onto to make us feel like he truly deserved Joe. Everything was just shifted into his family or Tong. I can understand why Ming is the way he is, but I still don't like him. He had no love growing up, everything was handed to him but never his, and when he finally found someone who loved him, he turned into a possessive mofo with no regards to anyone's, including Joe's feelings. Even still, I will never forgive him. I just can't. He's fallen madly in love with Joe, but that doesn't change how he treated him or spoke to him. And until the very end of the series he has not changed. Which, surprisingly, I liked because it made a lot of sense to his character. He loves Joe, and only Joe. Everyone else are just pests to him apart from his family.

But that being said, the little moments they had as a couple were cute as much I hate to admit it. "I didn't know where you were, so I wanted to be seen in the public eye as much as possible. In case, one day you'd see me, you'd feel something and come back to me," I smiled and giggled on this part, okay? Sue me. I hate him, but the toxic part of me wanted him to be end game as well. Like damn, the forehead kisses in ep 10 were so intimate it felt like I was intruding.

Then again, our boy Joe here was gone from ep one. "No matter how many times I gotta choose, I still choose the same thing. Because someone is waiting for me." We lost this brother a long time ago, it was so obvious that he was going to pick Ming despite everything. Boy is as colourblind as bats are normal blind, there was no saving him.

But we finally did get the apology we were waiting for. It was long overdue, but we finally got it. "Since you'd disappeared, I prayed everyday... that I would see you again. I didn't want you to come back. But I wanted a chance to apologise to you. For everything that I'd done. P' Joe. I'm really sorry. I'm sorry about everything. I'm sorry." Mayhaps I teared up, mayhaps I awed. We'll never know.

Overall this series was fantastic, but it did lose itself a bit near the end. Tong, the redemption arc, the entire 180 Ming's mother had in her character arc. Nothing can make me like this bitch. NOTHING.

But the actors were amazing, they carried this show like no other. The chemistry was overflowing, and the cinematography and visuals were out of this world. The emotions were raw, they felt real, and I felt my hear break and enrage with these characters.

I hate Ming, but is he going into my fav bl red flags list? 100%