Episode 14 - The Hand, The Monkfish (spoilers included)

It's been 12 hours since I watched this episode, which struck me with emotions I wasn't quite prepared for. The direction / writing / acting are equally brilliant throughout but episode 14 hit a raw nerve that I can't quite calm back into normalcy. This is a fallout episode for Moon Young who grapples with the revelation that her mother killed Sang Tae and Kang Tae's mom. Sang Tae, trying to get her to feel better, becomes the older brother she never had. As he and feeds her porridge, she cries and I've never felt more sorry for a character in my life. Kang Tae is also trying to protect her from his feelings but his character growth will no longer allow him the privilege of hiding. He reluctantly tells her how he feels and the emotion poured into the scenes by these actors is beyond description. Praising words are simply not enough to do the brilliancy of this episode justice. "The Hand, The Monkfish" was penned by Moon Young and was the favorite story of her mother's. In the mother's voice, an account is given of a child, adored and pampered, that is discarded and thrown into the sea because she could not measure up to the mom's expectation. From this book, we now understand Moon Young's life as a little girl and by this point of the story, I had tears streaming down. During all the comments, a recurring theme from viewers (such as myself) is that this drama strikes a chord with most watching. Six years ago, my autistic son had begun talking with one word at a time. A time of elation in the house to hear his voice that was soon followed by his father walking out. My son's first sentence was to his father's back and the last time he ever saw him, "daddy, don't leave me". To listen to "The Hand, The Monkfish" was torture. My son is happy, well adjusted, outgoing and he has not carried the scar of rejection like Moon Young has. A healing revelation of sorts for me that I'm doing well as a parent and a reminder that it's truly okay to not be okay at times.

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“For never was a story of more woe than this of Juliet and her Romeo.”..spoilers ahead

These screenwriters are damning me to hell in the form of 5 days and 18 hours before episode 13.Our trio's new normal is filled with light and the trivial acts of living day to day as a family. Moon Young and Kang Tae shopping for groceries with her screaming that she wants them to have a baby boy had me laughing out loud. Seriously, Moon Young and Sang Tae are so much alike in personality, it almost makes me want to believe the theory that they are actually siblings. Their interactions and squabbles make my world.With all good roller coasters, the highest point is always followed by the rush of falling back to earth. Sang Tae's character growth pushes him to recount to his brother and the Director about his memory of the butterfly. As he tells his recollection of events, there is loss and sorrow growing in Kang Tae's eyes. He knows the butterfly pendant belonged to Moon Young's mother and this truth makes him want to run as far away as possible. He faces the dilemma of choice between staying and hurting Moon Young with the past or running away and turning his back on the spoken direction of wanting to never moving again. At the end of the episode, when their family portrait is taken, he chooses to stay but there is a haunting expression in his eyes. The truth of his mother's murder might be the room with no door for escape to Moon Young. I've stated with every review how enamored I am with this show but today's episode absolutely left me in my thoughts for hours afterward. Whether this show ends in tragedy or happily, I'm on board. This truly is an emotional roller coaster ride and I'm in it until the end.

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Episode 13 - The Father of Two Sisters (Spoilers included)

There has not been one episode of "It's Okay to Not Be Okay" that hasn't touched me emotionally. Episode 13 seemed to not only touch but live in a place of joy, sorrow, and horrifying truth. It's a revealing episode that sets the stage for the final three stories left to tell and for the first time in my life, I find myself hating butterflies. Go Moon Young's father is dying and the repercussions of people being bystanders and victims of abuse is laid front and center. I cheered when Go Moon Young neither forgave or visited her father prior to his last breath. I cried listening and watching the joy as she remembered her father reading her a fairy tale. Only once. Many things in our lifetime can be lost and found: money, vehicles, houses, and spouses can fade and reappear in a person's life . Two father's ignored their child's repeated cry and let them carry the weight of violent scars in their soul. I damned both characters to hell with no remorse whatsoever.At the end of the episode, the mother's face is revealed and Go Moon Young recognizes the butterfly clue and meaning left in Moon Sang Tae's mural. A battle for mental and probably physical survival will be needed and I hope / pray / plead with the writers to allow the newfound family peace and resolution. A very selfish request from me so I can let these character go, knowing they found a place of happiness.

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Contains spoilers

The craziest things happen when fears and hopes are faced simultaneously.....a door opens to a new normal and that's exactly what happened for Moon Kang Tae.This episode is titled "The Ugly Duckling" and it's extremely fitting for the three main players. Go Moon Young was the girl who yearns for inclusion and love, Moon Kang Tae was the person who dreamed of normal and Moon Sang Tae's wish is to never be without his brother. All three felt that life had slighted them (and it had) and by the end of episode 11, the trio glimpsed a brilliant and fleeting moment of contentment. A momentary transformation from self reflected "ugly" emotions into natural happiness. For me, the highlight of this episode was the brothers fighting. Their relationship has formed into something healthier for both and Moon Kang Tae's relaxing smile after the knock down was beautiful. He is no longer the caretaker, the responsible party, but a brother. Kim Soo Hyun's ability to personify his character's feelings is truly an awe inspiring moment for the acting craft. They should build and name an acting school after this guy.Episode 11 is, once again, a masterly crafted episode that will be watched repeatedly and knowing this series is 5 episodes away from completions is heartbreaking. I think I'll need my own version of a nightmare doll to handle the emotional toll.

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There are spoilers included

Episode 10 was everything anticipated and the emotional ride that I tried to prepare myself for but failed miserably.This was an episode where I hated the ML (please don't get me wrong, actor Kim Soo Hyun was brilliant in every scene). After experiencing the parallel life of "what should have been" with Go Moon Young, he lets go to follow his old, familiar pattern. No more laughter, no smiles, just the routine of his life....wake up, eat, go to work, come home, all in the category of being his brother's caretaker. He recesses back to responsible misery.Moon Sang Tae is the "Boy Who Cried Wolf". His alternate reality of "he pushed me into the water and wanted me dead" was only partially right in that his little brother, not even an adolescent, had not learned how to hide his feelings. This child, who was neurologically different, had a small world to play in and that consisted of a mother and brother. He was lonely, isolated and learned the art of manipulation. Their scene in episode 9 and repercussions displayed in episode 10 allows for healing and a healthier relationship to begin between the two.Go Moon Young, the person who endures silently while others distance themselves, absolutely slayed me throughout the episode. She very quietly and in her own way, begs Go Moon Young not to leave her again to no avail. Nam Joo Ri, the former childhood friend, comes to pick up the brother's belongings and only shows her true feelings (albiet in hilarious scenes) under the influence of alcohol. The publisher CEO, when asked who comes first, dodged the bullet with a diatribe about the different shades of yellow. Which meant she was his priority when it involved business. At the end, she sits alone at a very large table looking out. What her thoughts are is anyone's guess but the foreshadowing sentence at the beach raised the hair on my arms. "I'm not a firecracker! I'm a bomb! I blow up and kill everyone!". I'm left wondering how much more loneliness will push an isolated person to harm those she loves? Or, perhaps, her mother will carry out punishment of her "loved" one's for similar circumstances.Even with the upbeat, happy expression preview of episode 11, I know there are 6 episodes left to go. There are most definitely, bigger roller coasters yet to ride in this drama and I wouldn't miss is for the world.

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