Suntem Morți cu Toții (2022)

You need to be a zombie to enjoy this

Whew! Watching this is like doing an unwanted chore. Such a waste of opportunity!

After saving it in my to-watch list the first day I saw the trailer on Netflix, I cleared my Friday night schedule to binge all the episodes, prepared my popcorn, (and beer) popped the first episode and I'm hooked! The first episode was compelling and was such a gorefest, I thought it is exactly how I want my horror show. The very first attack by the school nurse was heartstopping and showed a lot of promise. Sadly, after the 3rd episode, I am snoozing like a baby, drools and all.

My expectations are low when it comes to horror. I come to be entertained and have a good time, and the more gruesome and the more bloody the better. Having said that, I have set my bar even lower for this series because I know it's teen-centric and I just want to enjoy and not nitpick details. This show, however, exceeded in delivering mind-numbing foolishness, and it's so easy to hate almost all characters that you can't stop wishing all of them would just be bitten.

The story is simple enough but could have been a goldmine of ideas and exciting scenarios. Instead, they dropped stupid and repetitive scenarios one after another. The character's eyes keep popping like a light bulb every time they think (or they think they thought of) of brilliant ideas to outsmart the zombies. You just can't help but cheer the zombies to finally have a go at it and just kill the characters:
1. One of the most frustrating is the way they handled Ohn Jo's father, they were building the story for him to be the big rescuer, and that he will do everything to save his daughter only to die minutes after reuniting with her. We were shouting at the screen when that happened cause they all clearly have a path to get away from the zombies, especially right after when he threw the first flare because it seems they can all go safely, Then, he unnecessarily threw the second and third flares. Very anti-climatic for his arc just to create the drama.
2. Seems like they were intent on just unnecessarily killing all the adults alive in the school to keep the narrative that the teens are on their own.
3. The vlogger was just a nuisance. I don't understand his importance to the story cause he did nothing at all.
4. Do I need to mention Chiong San's mom? What about his dad who mysteriously disappeared?
5, The police force. My goodness! I love Lee Kyu Hyung and even if his character here was almost the same as in Happiness, he is still also one of the few bright spots of the series. However, the whole Hyosan police force was just a dimwit bunch. Did you see how easy it was for the zombies to overrun the friggin police headquarters? The guys at the school put up a much better fight than these weakling cops. They got the main culprit -the brain behind the virus and they know the virus is spreading and you interrogate him like it's a normal crime? Has no one there thought of coordinating with the other agencies, and telling them that they have the crazy scientist, turn him over and make him do the antidote or something. No, they all panicked when the zombies attacked the police station, no one even thought of maybe finding some weapons because just maybe there are some because THEY ARE IN THE FRIGGIN POLICE STATION!
6. What about the assemblywoman? What's her actual contribution to the whole story?
7. Did you see how the teen mom tied her hands with that ribbon, to keep her from eating the baby? She's a zombie, not a gift box, that ribbon looks so thin that when she became a zombie she could have snapped it easily. Oh but that ribbon is made of steel and it held her overnight. And that baby? It must have superhuman powers to survive that long without milk.
8. The bullied girl in the rooftop. I was thinking they'd give her a recovery arc, but no, she is just as self-centered as her bullies. She was so happy to announce that she SET THE SCHOOL ON FIRE, but girl has to check that statement cause all she did was burn the papers in the office, nothing more. Hasn't she seen the fire sprinklers working? A fight between her and GwiNam could have been epic.
9. And OMG that bullied guy. I kinda understand why he did what he did on the rooftop, but then he was at the camp, met this girl, and he tells him I want to eat you, and then he just let her. That scenario alone could have opened a lot of possible chaotic scenarios inside the camp. I was kinda expecting the zombies to spread there, but no, nothing of that sort. It's like the guy's existence is just to make the abandonment of the kids in the rooftop climatic, which by the way is not.
10. I would like to mention the countless stupid ways to escape a zombie apocalypse but this is already way too long.

They even spent almost an episode literally talking about shit. They complained about thirst and hunger but didn't bother to find food and water and yet they spent quite some time teaching us how to do the number 2 during an apocalypse.

What makes it sadder, is that I find not a single character to latch on to - not the drama queen, not her puppy best friend, not the pretend goody goody jock, not even the smartass who could have been their gifted savior. What they delivered instead was a puke-invoking bunch of whiny pimpled teenage characters who can't stop talking about their silly crushes and quite a few useless adult characters who make selfish and terrible decisions.

There are only two characters I didn't hate- Gwi Nam is a scary psycho and the funny delinquent Mi-Jin. Had they shifted the focus to these two, they could have created a witty frightening gore. I just have to add that my favorite part was when they were on the rooftop and singing cause that felt sincere.

I can't help but wonder why this show got a 12-episode order as opposed to Kingdom which has 6 per season and Sweet Home which has 10. The show could have used a lot of editing and maybe it will feel better if it was just 8 or even 10.

I recommend having a go at it using your mobile device, that way you can change the playback speed, otherwise, if you're watching on your smart tv just have the remote ready and just feel free to skip the boring parts. I promise you, you won't miss anything. Hard to rewatch, unfortunately.

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