Utsukushii Kare (2021)

My Beautiful Review

What a series.
I started this series not knowing any of the "controversy" surrounding it and when I finished I was so impressed that I was a bit shocked that there was anything negative to say about this series.

I found this series to be so wonderful and enthralling. The rewatch value is high and the music is a dream.

The acting is sharp and the intense introspection of the two protagonists makes for a a very good clash.
"What if the person you liked liked you back but you didn't think it was reciprocal."

The last 3 episodes are some of my all time bl favorites. It's just a great series that captivated me.

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You can feel an astounding connection watching this, it feels kind of perfect

As a disclaimer, I guess every review is ultimately subjective, and I'm coming at this with my experiences as a guy but this show had me kind of awestruck at how good it was.
In my opinion, it's seriously the best portrayal of the concept of yearning (and apparently limerence, which I didn't know was a word until I saw the tag) in BL and probably media in general.
It just feels so real and relatable, maybe in terms of those strong feelings which the two leads aim and succeed in their efforts to portray. The emotional response you can get in watching is great, and not only due to the short length but the pull of the high quality of the show overall did I end up staying up later to binge the whole thing in 1 day.

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Development done right, despite being only 6 episodes

I personally started off as not enjoying the show at all. The two mains and how they acted was something that was hard for me to relate to.

By the end of the show I can say, not only I ended up liking both characters , I liked the story so much that I ended up reading the Drama CD.

I recommended watching the show until the end. If you are someone like me who didn't like the show at the beginning , there is a chance you might still end up loving the show after watching the second half.

Positives

1_ The Story: I admit that I do not know too many bls. In fact this was one of the first bls I've seen along with a few others but the fact that there are bls like this that can actually try to show human emotions and their flaws rather than just 2 guys being cute together surprised me.

This story deals with a few issues like lack of self esteem caused by constant bullying, miscommunication, pride and a few other things which makes it more interesting than some other shows I have seen.

If you are in to fluff with characters being completely nice and never do anything wrong , this isn't the show for you. If you prefer having characters who indeed have flaws and make mistakes, then maybe give this a go.

2_ Flawed Characters: While I admit, I didn't like either of these two at the start, I ended up really liking them at the end. Our main character, Hira , is a guy who has been bullied his entire life , as a result he doesn't have any self respect or self esteem and let's others take advantage of him without standing up for himself.

Enters Kiyoi. Our second lead. He at the beginning, seems to be quite the opposite of Hira. Handsome, proud, with a lot of friends but that's just how he seems on the outside. Delving deeper in to his character, he is both insecure and lonely and suffers from abandonment issues which causes him to not be able to communicate with people or show vulnerability in fear of being abandoned. His character comes off as aggressive and rude at the start but by the end you'll realize that it all comes from his insecurities.

3_ Developments done right:

The "friendship" netween the two starts off as attraction and curious. It's far from ideal or even a good friendship but it starts getting better with them spending more time with each other and getting to know one another. Hira shows Kiyoi that it's OK to be vulnerable , you are not going to be abandoned. Kiyoi (subconsciously) help Hira gain a little bit more confidence and stand up to others for once.

But since both of the leads are insecure , with one of them putting the other on a pedestal and the other , not being able to communicate due to fear . The problems that they both have , essentially ends up tearing them apart and they don't get together until Kiyoi ends up communicating and Hira becomes a lot more confident to the point of actually turning someone down. Their dynamic from High school , certainly doesn't stay that way at all.

Another good thing about this show is that , despite both of the leads clearly changing, they don't entirely turn in to another human being . Change is not easy and it certainly can not happen over night. Utsukushii kare does a great job showing that.

4_ This show does NOT romanticise toxicity: I have seen some people trying to call this show out for "romanticising toxicity " . That can not be further from the truth. In fact , Hira and Kiyoi couldn't be together until they both had developments which was necessary to both of their characters and their relationship.

Negatives:

This show is freaking short. 6 episodes is barely enough to show this type of story. They needed more time for each character. While I don't think there is anything wrong with the development of the characters, I do admit that they could've done a much better job with a few more episodes.
And maybe show their real relationship dynamic after they get together. Kiyoi in particular needed more time to show his feelings.

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The best Japanese BL YES

This drama and Yagi Yusei is so beautiful I could cry. I get lost looking at him and forget to read the subtitles sometimes. The acting is phenomenal. The story too, but I don’t know if it’s just me being a hopeless romantic. But nonetheless, it’s so surreal how the story unfolds. The cinematography is like no other BLs! Trust me when I say I rewatched a drama, that means it’s TOO good I can’t help but rewatch. I don’t even rewatch a drama that I recommend to people. I just can’t enjoy any content I already know how it goes. UNLESS it’s of something I really really really really like. One of the reasons I rewatched this one might be because I’m in a bl bingeing phase and there’s not a lot VERY good bl dramas that meet all my criteria. This drama makes other dramas that I have watched following this feel mediocre. AND I’m planning to rewatch it AGAIN. It’s not easy for me to come to like a drama, I’m not even kidding, and this drama made me write my first review. Last, let me just tell you this, not every story is sunshine and rainbows.

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I'm obsessed with this drama as much as Hira is obsessed with Kiyoi lol.

Firstly, don't be fooled by the cheerful and bright opening song, honestly I started watching this without any idea about the plot and because of the OP I thought this was a cute romcom (it didn't help that I was watching Kieta Hatsukoi at the same time lmao), therefore during the first episode I was waiting for "cute" things to happen and got mildly uncomfortable/confused when they didn't come LOL. Despite this slight uncomfortable feeling, I continued to watch (and I'm so glad that I did) because of the aesthetically pleasing cinematography and the actors' believable performance (I mean, I was so conflicted if I feel bad for Hira or if I'm creeped out by him, which later on made me realize that it's exactly what the drama wanted me to feel).

When it was was implied that Hira did *that thing* using Kiyoi's picture by the end of the first episode, I finally understood the real "tone" of the drama and in doing so I finally started enjoying and appreciating it for what it is -- unabashed, intoxicating, thought-provoking, complex, but at the same time, "pure".

Soon I realized that this drama is actually my high school literary fantasies (I'm 32 now *coughs*) come to life in high-quality -- all the angst, the pining, the unconventional dynamics + relationship between the leads, the sexual tension, the homoeroticism, and last but not the least, the painfully but beautifully flawed characters. Perhaps that's why it didn't take long for me to get seriously addicted to this drama because it's like something I wanted to write all these years but couldn't. (I grew up reading CLAMP mangas wherein losing an eye for someone is a sign of love so yeah.)

As a work of fiction, this is the kind of drama that shouldn't be watched with your moral lens but with an open mind since Hira and Kiyoi as characters and the relationship and dynamics between them are simply meant to exist in their fictional world only (like I'm yet to meet someone who is as tsundere as Kiyoi in real-life XD), so really, people shouldn't necessarily relate it to real-life and find people who enjoy such work as "problematic" because believe it or not, we can differentiate real-life from fiction.

Anyway, with just six episodes running for only around 24 minutes each, the series managed to be very impactful and may I say extremely compelling, considering that even some of the people who find it "problematic"/"toxic" and don't like it still felt the need to finish the entire series and spend their precious time writing rants about how much they dislike it afterwards (unlike me who just drops a drama and move on to the next one once I start to feel that it's not my cup of tea). I guess that's one of the strong points of this drama - each episode just kept getting better and better, evoking different emotions, that I found myself re-watching the latest episode before the next one aired whenever I had the chance (and I've now lost count of how many times I watched the last episode). I think another factor why this appealed so much to me is because of the director (Sakai Mai) who is a lady currently 30 years of age, I believe she knows exactly what the audience within the same generation (specifically fangirls like me lol) wants to see.

Also biggest kudos to Hagiwara Riku and Yagi Yusei, watching them has been such a delight, they look very natural and just very well-fitted for their roles. Their chemistry is also palpable, whether oncam or offcam. This could have easily ended up as a disaster had they picked the wrong actors. Riku as Hira is phenomenal, he has that "dead eyes" look on point, but I'm especially surprised by Yusei when I learned that this is his first acting role, he has definitely done a better job compared to other actors I've been seeing in a lot of dramas all these years. That scene in the last episode wherein he was screaming at Hira was specifically very painful to watch.

Long story short, if you're looking for a classic Japanese angsty romance BL story done artistically and acted wonderfully, then this might be for you. But if you're someone who prefer a cute, fluffy, feel-good, and "healthy" story with cheerful and nice characters, you may need to look for something else.

Also just a note that looking (via Google Translate mostly haha) at the reaction of the Japanese viewers who are the ACTUAL target audience of this drama, majority of them seem to like the drama (it's currently #1 in Amazon TV drama DVD selling ranking) and I have yet to see them writing long essays about how "problematic" or "toxic" this is so I guess generally the issue is not within the drama itself but is with how some people perceive it.

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The BL that touched me the most.

My review will contain spoilers from the first novel/ Utsukushii Kare novel, so people who hadn`t read the novel /the first audio drama and plan to read it shouldn`t read my review.
I`ve been able to make a review for this drama after all this time. It was really hard for me to write all this, because i have a hard time expressing myself in a way that i am satisfied when it comes to what i love the most.

This drama is my favorite BL and i think it speaks a lot about how much this BL has shaken me and has impacted my life from the moment it was released and until now. Utsukushii Kare is the only JBL adaptation based on a BL NOVEL, because the rest of them are adapted from BL mangas, and i think this is also a reason of why this JBL has such a distinctive vibe compared to other JBLs released until now.
I have a hard time reviewing japanese BLs, not only because i am more attached to them, but also because when i have to review them, i also have to mention things related to the original work and is really hard for me to keep a balance between them.

The way the characters were originally writed in the novel- the original (OG) Hira and Kiyoi:

HIRA is written as someone with low self-esteem and a negative mindset, who develops an unusual intense love for Kiyoi, similarly with an obsession for someone or with the idolization fans has for their idols/worshipers towards their God. I love unique characters, and while his obsession for Kiyoi makes him a creep and a harmless stalker (I don`t care how harmless he is, a stalker is still a stalker, the guy knew he was in the wrong and he still did it), he doesn`t come across as really unpleasant, because his love for Kiyoi is pure, he is most of the time really selfless in his actions and will never do anything to hurt Kiyoi. Well, not in purpose at least, but indirectly he can be such an arrogant and selfish person and he doesn`t even realise it. I side with Kiyoi on this, because while reading the novel, Hira has some scenes where he is worst than Kiyoi. Most of time Hira is really passive, will keep his distance from Kiyoi and he doesn`t notice the things that Kiyoi does to get close to him. The reason of why Hira acts like this is a result of his low self-esteem issues, which makes him think he doesn`t deserves Kiyoi and that Kiyoi will never come to like him. The unique thing to him ( which I thought is such a genius move) is that even through he is usually passive and indecisive, when he is encouraged or when he gets really emotional in the presence of Kiyoi, he gets excited, his eyes sparkles, he is more straightforward in the way he express himself and he confess his love passionately. In some scenes he looks like he has a SWITCH that gets TURNED ON. Hira ( Kiyoi too) has thick walls around his heart, because he was treated differently, bullied, looked down by people all his life because of his stuttering, so he hates people and he dislike being around them, those being the reasons why he wants to be invisible. Kiyoi was the first person ( beside his parents) who he liked enough to be able to open up to him more, in the presence of who he could be himself and who makes him go out of his comfort zone.

KIYOI is writen as an ordinary boy, who in the surface is a strong-willed person and treats everyone around him equally. He is merciless towards everyone that bothers him and he is courteous towards people who only wants to make use of him. This is Hira perspective of him too, but this is only one side of him. He might look strong-willed, but he is written as someone who gets lonely easily (this is the reason of why he still hangs around others) and who can be a mess when it comes to expressing his feelings to people he loves. He has a hard time expressing his real feelings to his family too, not only Hira. The experiences that he has while he is a child with his mother and his family impacted him a lot, and he is aware of this. Basically, Kiyoi is one of those persons who is unable to express their feelings easily to people around him. He is able to do it more easily when it comes to his job and people who aren`t close to him, but he has a hard time to express them to people he is close with. He gets better at it in the future novels as he realises he has not choice in the matter. He learns the hard way in the drama, but also in the future novels, that he has to be direct about his wants and to express his feelings, because Hira is worst than him when it comes to this. Kiyoi doesn`t like to explain all the things he does and thinks to Hira and he wants for Hira to also make some efforts to guess what his intentions might be, but as we know, this doesn`t work, because Hira is a dense, ignorant guy who doesn`t like to assume things. In my opinion, the reason why Kiyoi is like this, is because he has trust issues originated from being let down by his mother when he was a kid, and from observing the superficial way people act around him because of his good looks or because they want to take use of him.

I think the reason Kiyoi was attracted to Hira, both in the novel and in the drama is because of his desperate need to be loved unconditionally, in a way that makes him feel secure that the other person will never abandon him. In my opinion, his intense need to be loved match the intense and irrational way that Hira has come to love him. Kiyoi need to be wanted is really intense, and this is conveyed well in the explicit scenes from the novels, which in the drama were foreshadowed cleverly. The reason Hira has come to be obsessed with him and later love him genuinely was not because of his beautiful appearance, but because of his personality, the self-assertive, overbearing way in which Kiyoi acts around others and the confident way he carries himself. This might be partly because of a lowkey kink of looking up to others who are more powerful than him, but I think is also partly because he saw in Kiyoi someone he wants to be, but he isn`t able to. I think that while Hira attraction for Kiyoi starts as an obsession, the obsession becomes mixed with genuine love after Hira starts to interact to Kiyoi more. I think the moment in which Hira love for Kiyoi becomes even more stronger, to a point that he can`t deny it and it has come to impact his life, is that scene when he beats Shirota to defend Kiyoi. That action changed Hira, because he felt that thanks to Kiyoi he has done something that has saved him. It was a moment where he felt he can continue living for Kiyoi ( Hira is not in a good place mentally in the novel in that period of his life), and he is always grateful to Kiyoi because of this and is unable to forget him. A really twisted way of thinking, but I understand him, no all people manage to grow up normally when they have the kind of childhood and school experiences that he had.

The things that I liked the most about the drama is the acting ( I give it a 9.5/10), cinematography (10/10), OST ( 9/10), writing (9.5/10), originality of the story ( 10/10), ending (9/10, I wanted more and it was a bit rushed).

I want to say some things about the actors, because in my opinion the way the drama was writed and directed is an important thing of why I love this drama, but the thing that make this drama unforgettable to me is the performance of the actors. I cherish great acting. Hagiwara Riku did exceptional for this role, I think is his best acted role until now, His acting is 10/10 for me. Riku is one of those actors who can give a completely different image depending of his role, and he was able to not only pull off the creepy character he had to portray, but he has made him so complex and endearing, that It made me want to ignore all Hira weird quirks and just enjoy his performance. I think the way in which Riku played Hira in the drama is the reason people overlooked the character flaws . Kiyoi did a wonderful job for Kiyoi too, especially since is his first acting role, but there are some scenes where his acting inexperience is showed, one of it being his acting in the classroom scene in the last ep. He did a good job with this scene too, but some small moments come across as his acting needed polishing. I read this scene was shoot much more earlier when he still hasn`t gotten used to his character, so this is a reason too, and this is why I didn`t lowered even his acting score more. His acting is 9/10 for me, because he did so great In some of his scenes, to the point that I felt he owned the character.

I want to also mention some controversial moments from the drama and how i perceived them.
I thought that something is odd from the way Hira looked at Kiyoi while he entered the classroom and in the scene where he leaned over Kiyoi who was pretending to be sleeping and saying HOW BEAUTIFUL, i thought, OH BOY, What is this? I was like, why did he thought that this is a good idea and his reaction after was really weird. The explanation he gives is really far-fetched and it makes his behaviour even more weird. I thought that it was only right that Kiyoi called him on his bullshit, I mean what explanation was that, and he even looked at him in that way, like he was in a trance, like he liked what he looked at, and he couldn`t take his eyes of him. I honestly thought that Kiyoi has to think that Hira is a pervert for looking at him like that, and this is why he called him creepy/weird. I was taken a bit aback about Kiyoi making Hira do errands for him and his "friends" ( which can be perceived as light bullying too), but I also observed that Kiyoi has also noticed Hira and he was looking in his direction many times before the scene where he confronts Hira and makes him do stuff for them. I`ve also noticed that while Hira looks at Kiyoi with those kind of eyes, he never does anything to approach him. Because of this, i already thought even before watching ep 5 that Kiyoi most likely decided to approach Hira and to test him about how he feels about him by making him part of his group of "friends", even if the approach was wrong. I still liked Kiyoi despite this, because to me, it was obvious that Kiyoi also knew that his approach is wrong, as he always stepped in when he saw people took the bullying too far. He still defended Hira in some scenes, and to me that was him making amends for approaching Hira the way he did. The scenes when Hira starts to follow Kiyoi, taking that photo of him without permission and doing "that thing" using his photo consolidated to me how much of a creep he is. This convinced me and also made me like him even more because I love watching unique characters, and he is one of a kind character In all this BL universe. This is the way i interpreted Kiyoi and Hira behaviour for the first half of the drama.

I`ve come to the conclusion that the main reason why I liked this drama is because of how realistic and raw all the feelings and the emotions of the characters were portrayed. I was charmed by how alive and vibrant expressed the emotions are. In my opinion, this is one of the most visually stunning drama I watched in general, and I am not referring at how beautiful everything is shoot, but also about how extremely well the emotions of the characters are showed.

Another thing that i liked about this drama is that the story gives the message that everyone has an equal chance to be loved, not matter what issues people have and not matter how undeserving they might feel like.
In real life, not all people meet their own significant other when they are mature or ready enough to be in a relationship, in the best state of mind, or other ideal circumstances, and i loved to see this.

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Trying to write a review for Utsukushii Kare is going to be hard considering how speechless it's left me...

After the first episode aired and the criticisms started, I defended Utsukushii Kare primarily on the fact that the contrast with the adorable Kieta Hatsukoi airing at the same time was startling. While I adored Kieta Hatsukoi, the premise isn't exactly unique. Utsukushii Kare came in and brought something so vividly different, I was hooked from the very beginning. Yes, it's not sunshine and rainbows. It's messed up kids, obsession, mistreatment, and other troubling behaviours, and I loved every second of it. Every episode gets wilder and wilder, more and more intense. The tension building progressively is truly remarkable. Their dynamic is one that while, yes, I would disapprove of in real life, I would love to see more of in dramas. It's a very flawed, intense romance, with a happy ending nonetheless, and I honestly couldn't ask for anything more.

The story is captivating, the acting is very solid, the soundtrack is perfect, and the complexity of their relationship definitely warrants a rewatch in the future. Easily 10/10.

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A Rare MUST WATCH Japanese BL

Utsukushii Kare is the best Japanese BL of 2021!
It constantly pulls at your heartstrings and keeps you on the edge of your seat the whole time.
A rare gem in the Japanese BL.

STORY:

Hira suffers from severe stuttering when he is nervous. This has caused him to be ostracized from his classmates throughout his entire school career. During his final year of high school he meets Kiyoi, the resident "king" of the school, who saves him from class introductions by walking into class late. Hira is instantly smitten by Kiyoi. Even though Hira tries to keep his distance, the foul mouthed Kiyoi always seems to pull him back into his world. When Hira accidentally reveals his love for Kiyoi, and despite being quite open about his love and admiration for him thereafter, Kiyoi calls Hira disgusting, but doesn't outright ignore him after. The two unknowingly form a bond that's not quite friendship, but become closer than friends.

After a very eventful graduation, Hira and Kiyoi lose contact with each other until they are accidentally reunited in college. Hira finally has a friend, while Kiyoi is trying to make it big in the entertainment world. Hira still idolizes and loves Kiyoi, but Kiyoi is confused and can't express himself well.

Honestly, the plot and story isn't very original, however, what makes Utsukushii Kare different from the others is the characters. The characters are all very vulnerable and have their flaws. Hira is quite obviously the sympathetic lead, but King Kiyoi also has his doubts and is very relatable. He's not the invincible princely with a foul mouth that the usual troupes would have. Also, because we get two sides of the story, Hira and Kiyoi's, we sympathize with both Hira and Kiyoi. We also get annoyed with both Hira and Kiyoi too. Kiyoi is too tsundere for Hira, and Hira is as dense as a rock.

Aside from the characters, the plot, despite it's unoriginality, Ustukushii Kare didn't try to cover too many storylines. The entire series was focused on how Hira and Kiyoi got together. There was no extra storylines for side characters, no extra stories from after they got together. Most importantly, there was no obnoxiously long backstory for an character, nor was there any attempt to gain sympathy from the backstory either. The entire series was focused on how they got together and what they were feeling as they got together. Due to the focus on the characters and their feelings, everything felt real, raw, and amazing.

With the character driven storyline, Utsukushii Kare had it's work cut out, but I'm glad they found outstanding actors to fill in the roles. If the actors had performed poorly, I doubt Utsukushii Kare would have been a great series. Hira's actor was very good at playing that naive, yet dense character, while Kiyoi's actor was perfect with his tough, yet vulnerable, tsundere character. At first I hated Kiyoi for being so hot and cold to Hira, but as the story shifted from Hira's point of view to Kiyoi's, I fell in love with Kiyoi. His actor's performance when he had to portray Kiyoi's vulnerable side made me cry so hard. I've never seen an actor switch between hot and cold as great as Kiyoi's.

Kiyoi & Hira

At a glance, Kiyoi is a terrible person to befriend. He's mean to Hira and calls him names. You could even say he takes advantage of Hira, but it's not until the later half of the series, when you hear Kiyoi's side of the story, that you finally understand Kiyoi. Kiyoi's clumsy with his feelings and can't express himself well. He's also trying to navigate his feelings for Hira, who isn't exactly normal. Meanwhile, Hira's obsessed with Kiyoi to the point it's a bit stalkerish. The audience is made to sympathize with Hira, but Kiyoi does have a point, Hira's behavior is stalkerish.

That being said, Hirai and Kiyoi balance each other out perfectly. Around Kiyoi, Hira is able to express his emotions openly, while Kiyoi isn't very comfortable with expressing himself. Hira's not bothered by Kiyoi's insults because he knows Kiyoi is a tsundere, who doesn't mean what he says.

My personal favorite thing about his couple is that the seme and uke are not who you would expect them to be. I was presently surprised when we got a glimpse of it.

BULLYING, OBSESSION, etc. IS IT CONTROVERSIAL?

With the way it is written in this story, absolutely not. The "bullying" and "obsession" are very realistic to teenagers. Sometimes you "bully" the ones you like, just like you sometimes "obsess," and can't get over them. Nothing in his series was too extreme and the series chose to explore the "bullying" and "obsession" troupes that are often used in BL. In fact, this series doesn't glorify any of it. Kiyoi bullying Hira lead to Hira lot of misunderstanding Kiyoi causing both of them, especially Kiyoi, lots of heartache. Similarly, Hira's obsession with Kiyoi causes Kiyoi to pull away because he doesn't want to be a "King" to Hira, but rather Hira's lover.

Exploring these types of controversial troupes and showing the reality of them is what makes this series unpredictable. I was half expecting Kiyoi to just fall for Hira's dedication to him, but when Kiyoi pulled away I was stunned. I was so shocked I wanted to see what would happen next.

OVERALL:

I really enjoyed Utsukushii Kare. It's a great series that's so unpredictable that you are at the edge of your seat trying to figure out what happens next. The actors were also amazing to the point I actually cried when Kiyoi got emotional.

Words can't describe how amazing this series is, so don't sleep on it and watch it now!

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Utsukare, a brave bl showing flaws , and not in a cute way

Anyone who has watched bl in the past couple of months knows , having a perfect couple with zero flaws seems to be the popular demand. Any sort of flaw can be dissed by bl fans , and bl shows with perfect characters having the best relationships are always far more appreciated and popular.

Utsukare is nothing like that. Utsukare is a show about two flawed teenagers with problems and insecurities due to how they grew up. Both of these characters act exactly as flawed as they are. At the same time , this show isn't as dark as some people want to pretend .


"" my thoughts about the show""

1-If you are in to fluff , perfect characters who are cute together for most of the show , this isn't a show for you. The characters in the show are more realistic than someone who came right out of a fairy tail. They have some problems.

2- The Character flaws in the show are supposed to make the audience feel uncomfortable. If you are looking for a show that has character flaws that look nice or tropes such as bad boys who look cool or shy boys who are adorable this isn't a show for you. Most people who have watched this show , including myself , felt uncomfortable by the way the main leads acted specially in the beginning. The bad boy in the show isn't cool and the shy boy in the show isn't cute. This show treats flaws more realistic than some other shows and will make you realize that the characters are indeed , flawed and it's not a good thing.

3_ The characters in the show are complex and demands a rewatch to understand them better. Most people who liked the show including myself , ended up rewatching just to see stuff we didn't understand before.

4- Messy Highschool life , power imbalance , bullying , loneliness , lack of self esteem and backbone due to being bullied, miscommunication and being unable to show vulnerability and abandonment issues are shown and "criticized" in the story .

5 - If you are in to some sort of kink this probably isn't the show for you. I've seen a couple of people trying to point out kinks like Sadism/Masochism in the show and that's not true at all. This show deals with power imbalance in the very beginning of the show but that's only temporary and it's later criticized . That's not their dynamic at all.

6_ Don't expect either of the characters to play knight in the shining armor for the other characters problems. These character won't simply make each others problems go away by just existing even though , they make life better for each other to a certain degree but they also make mistakes .

7_ There is character development for both of them in the show , but don't expect the characters to do a 180 degree change and become entirely different people. Change is hard and is not sudden. Even the development in this show is more realistic than some others.

8_ Despite all the flaws , there is still a certain cuteness to their friendship . We have two flawed and lonely souls , who like each other. They feel less lonely and smile more when they are together, One of them gains slightly more confidence and the other feels loved despite his abandonment issues. This show isn't all that dark . We see them spend a decent amount of time together specially during high school. They get to know each other better, and have fun .

9- They are unconventional together, but they are not toxic. A toxic relationship is something that hurts the people in it. Our main characters , despite having issues and making mistakes, help each other a little bit and try to be respectful as friends as much as they can. One of them , has the power over the other but tries not to abuse it further than small errands because this guy wants to spend time with the other.
The other one , likes the other a little too much , but the moment he feels like the other person is uncomfortable , he tries to apologize and stop his admiration.

10_ This show DOES NOT romanticize their flaws. The two main characters , are not allowed to even have a romantic relationship until they try to be better to a certain degree and "communicate". The problems that these characters have are mostly criticized and not glorified or romanticized . Even their friendship was in danger due to their issues.

11- Change of perspective/ dynamic. I've seen some people be surprised by this one so I feel like mentioning it. You may feel surprised later in the show if you don't pay enough attention to how these characters act in the beginning. This is one of the reasons why I feel like this show has high rewatchablity value because you need to read between the lines to understand the characters better. one time is simply not enough for many people to understand them.

12- Acceptance , respect and consent are a part of the show which makes it so much better. These two , show a certain amount of respect and acceptance towards each other person and their flaws even after they make mistakes. It shows than you can love a person with flaws and criticize it at the same time.

13- Silly moments that are either weird or super adorable .

14- 6 episodes are too short for these two. We could've gotten at least one more episode showing their growth a little bit better but this show still did a fine job with what it had I suppose.

15- Great final episode. I honestly feel like most people agree with this one. Even a few of those who claimed they didn't like the show or the couple , still admitted that the finale was satisfying. Some people even claimed that the couple won them over after the Finale , so even if you didn't like the couple in the beginning, I still recommend continuing until the end. Since some people ended up really liking it by the end , there is a chance that you might feel the same way.

16- decent performance by the actors, Yagi surprised me and Hagiwara is a natural. Also fine music.

17_ Mistranslation also hurts the story a little bit. I recommend watching the show on Viki for better subs

I hope my review helps :)

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WORST BL I’VE SEEN

I’ve been going through most of the comments and reviews and seeing great reviews, and I’m genuinely confused as to why that is. I didn’t want to say anything, but it feels like a few others on here and myself included are the only ones with common sense.

Going into this I want to point out that I’m not showing any hate to the actors. My opinions are just based off the characters in the show, which is a work of fiction, and the positive reviews.

I want to start off by saying I didn’t like how Hira showed stalker/ obsessive behavior. When I started the show I didn’t even realize that he was into him in a negative way. If none of the viewers noticed that well… The most obvious part that made me realize that he was being creepy with his crush was when he grabbed his photo and literally snuggled him up next to him?! Another thing that really bugged me is how blinded he got and oversaw how toxic Kiyoi was and the way he treated him was literally horrible, yet he still went crawling back to him.

My next point is about Kiyoi. His character was honestly just not a good person at all. He had his mini moments when he wanted to be “nice” to Hira, but overall he still was so unhealthy for him. I will admit that I felt bad for him in the episode when they made us see why he acted in such a rude way, but just because you’re going through something doesn’t justify you treating people like trash.
Ex. When he kicked Hira for absolutely no reason!
I really thought after his episode we were going to see a character development, but he stayed the same.

I know that every BL couple shouldn’t be all rainbow and sunshine, but if you want a couple that shows flaws this was not the way to go about it. They both made many mistakes between one another, yet Kiyoi never apologized for all the negative things that did to him! If they were going to show a toxic relationship between them they should’ve made them notice that they weren’t being healthy towards one another and should give each other space, during that break they could’ve had character developments and brought them back together letting them have a strong relationship, or to show in the end how they’re relationship dynamic was.

Honestly I think that if they were going to leave Kiyoi’s character like that they should’ve let Hira end up with his college friend. His friend literally built his confidence in speaking and treated him WONDERFULLY. The second that he saw Kiyoi again in the restaurant he started going back to his head down and getting nervous to speak. Kiyoi was just being downright disrespectful and annoying because Hira kept stuttering, and luckily his friend was talking to him and telling him that it was okay and just being a good person. It still baffles me that he ended up choosing Kiyoi whenever he had to pick between the two.

Overall I don’t know what everybody raves about this show. There was no character development and the plot was disappointing.

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Probably going to be spoiler heavy and I'm okay being the odd man out.
But holy shit I hated this show.... Okay, maybe not hate, but I sure didn't like it. I waited so long for this to be complete so I could binge watch it, and I'm glad I did because how these episodes ended and how toxic EVERY episode was.. I probably would have "forgotten" to tune in for the next episode.
I've seen a lot of toxic shows and movies -- I feel like this one takes the cake. At least with the other shows (that I've seen) you see character building and eventually they stop being toxic pieces of shit. Yet. all the way up to the very last scene Kiyoi is steadily calling Hira gross and disgusting. Now mind you, Hira isn't innocent here either. The man is clearly psychotic. Dreaming of gunning down people for a guy you like isn't normal and is extremely creepy.
So yeah I have many regrets and wish I had passed up on this show. It's not often that I wish the ML would have ended up with the second love interest, but fuck I wish he would have. He was so much better than Kiyoi.

Hats off to the actors! The talent it takes to make you have to say to yourself "they're actors, not real" LOL! I think all of the actors did a amazing job and I really loved seeing Yusei. (what can I say? I adore the man. Don't like the character he played but I still adore him hahaha)

Edited to mark 4 stars instead of 5. But I feel like even 4 stars is to much. :/

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So unapologetically captivating I need to breathe!

Forget the controversy, this drama has just the right amount of grays to take you on a rocky journey to a surprising ending. If you keep an open mind and are not quick to make judgments, it’s sure to delight you in ways you may not expect.

At first, it doesn't look promising because of some unsettling but important narrative elements that make you wonder where it's headed. However, things take a turn by about the middle of Ep3. That's the moment where I fell in love and became obsessed with it like no other Asian BL drama I’ve watched to date (as of 2021). So much that it has compelled me to attempt at writing my first review.

This series is for you if you like character-driven BL dramas with depth and substance. It hits you in the right spot, making it addicting and binge-worthy, with two vastly different individuals, Hira (MC) and Kiyoi (ML), who struggle to figure out who they are and the complexities and beauty of love. They’re portrayed as multifaceted and nuanced. Their personalities are fleshed out to clash but also bring them together. They admit that they're like two dots that don’t overlap. Yet they’re very much drawn to each other early on by a magnetic curiosity to get closer. They’re complimentary at the core but they’re also very much alike. They’re imperfect, alone, and lonely. And they’re also drawn to intensity; they love and protect fiercely.

The plot is simple but more complex in execution. It has layers of small details interwoven into scenes, strategic placement of narration throughout, and controlled pacing in building up to an impactful ending. It unfolds by following HiraKiyo from when they first meet in high school to when they reunite in college. They start off with a stark power imbalance that eventually narrows when Kiyoi brings Hira into his social circle as their lackey. Secretly though, it’s Kiyoi’s way of keeping Hira close so he can find out what Hira wants from him and unintentionally, also shielding Hira from being bullied by others. As they interact more and their feelings lead to more questions, things get complicated and escalate to a new level.

While the issues explored between HiraKiyo are not new, the interplay is refreshingly intriguing. What I love about this drama is that gender is not even a conflict driver. Instead, it focuses on issues that are deeply rooted in their trauma that drive their behaviors and lead to their frustrations, misunderstandings, and pain. Hira has self-value, self-worth, and self-confidence issues so he sees Kioyi as a king and idolizes him as a god. He enjoys serving Kiyoi and often apologizes to please him. As a result, he’s blind to Kiyoi’s feelings and makes things unnecessarily difficult for them to declare their love and be together. Kioyi, on the other hand, has issues with abandonment, trust, and vulnerability. He copes by projecting a strong, tough exterior and defaults to nonchalant rudeness, lashing out or withdrawing to protect his pride/ego. Since weakness is a trigger for Kiyoi, he represses his feelings and affection and refuses to be the first to confess or take the lead.

The drama does show character growth for HiraKiyo. The changes are subtle but obvious shifts that are realistic, meaningful, and a step forward for them. In the beginning, HiraKiyo refers to themselves as a rubber ducky forced to drift in filthy water where it doesn't belong. But that mentality slowly changes when they meet and find comfort in each other’s company. They start opening up and sharing things they wouldn’t have otherwise. They also begin to draw strength from each other. Hira comes alive, feels empowered, and views his world with a colorful lens when he is around Kiyoi. His eyes light up, he looks more directly, he smiles more often, he expresses himself more, and he finds courage at times to be a little more daring. As for Kiyoi, Hira helps him realize he can be himself and be powerful. This is more apparent after Hira stands up for him by punching Shirota. Though still temperamental with a foul mouth, he begins to soften up a little more and lets his guard down a little more when he is with Hira. His trajectory ultimately leads him to be vulnerable with Hira when he cries and confesses in the end.

So what’s the takeaway? I learned from a filmmaker a while back that after you watch a film it eventually forms into a single painting. For me, for this drama, it’s the scene in Ep3 where Kiyoi lets Hira kiss his hand in the classroom with just the two of them. It’s a perfect summary of a message I walked away with: Sometimes it’s hard to define what love is but surrendering yourself will reveal everything. This can be applied to watching BL dramas too: Sometimes it’s hard to decide if a BL drama is worth watching by reading the synopsis or reviews but diving in will reveal everything. So stop reading and start watching to find out if you’ll fall in love with this series as I did.

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